I am writing this on the 22nd of August, just 4 days before the Thiruvonam and Yesudas is blasting in my ears. It’s been 3 years since I have celebrated onam with my family back home. I miss the feeling a lot. I’m not sad though, I am perfectly fine with the way we celebrate it here at my college, in some ways it’s fun too. What I really miss - I think - is more of the feeling of celebrating Onam in Keralam. To a lot of my peers here, it’s just a one day festival, but back home, it’s a 10 day festival and the feeling of Onam lasts way longer than 10 days.
Growing up, I was enrolled in a Kendriya Vidyalaya (KV), so we didn’t really have the luxuries of having a dedicated vacation for Onam, while my friends who studied in State Govt. schools often had one. Also the celebrations in a State Govt. school was way better than what we had in KV. Regardless of that, the air was different whenever Keralam was getting ready for Onam. It becomes more positive, for some reason I never knew why. Life started to become colourful and moreover, a feeling of happiness could be felt in the air. I think that’s what I miss the most ever since I have left home for college. It could also very well be the fact that Onam as an adult with responsibilities is very different from Onam as a carefree child living under the roof of his parents.
For some reason I am not very excited for Onam this year. I think that might not be helping with the fact that I am a convenor of the Onam Organising Committee. I would really like it if I could celebrate this year’s onam without being the convenor, but alas that’s not the case. Usually, I used to get excited about buying new clothes for Onam, but this year even that’s not happening. I am wondering whether I should even buy one, whether I really need one. I have 2 quizzes and a report to submit in the week of Onam, so that’s definitely not helping with the entire not feeling excited about Onam part.
The part I miss the most is not the actual day of Onam, rather the preparations for it. Plucking flowers, making tiny pookkalams, buying new clothes, buying vegetables for making sadya, excitement for onam movies, things like these. Looking back, I really do think that, Onam used to be that time of the year that refilled my soul with hopes that life could indeed be colourful and exciting. I haven’t really gotten that feeling ever since I left home.
That’s the price you pay when you move out I believe. You won’t necessarily find people to celebrate your culture and you have to start becoming a global citizen. I’m not saying that’s bad, in fact in a lot of ways, that’s better too. If I hadn’t moved to Punjab, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to experience so many cultures for which I am extremely grateful. It is just that sometimes, I would prefer to go back home, live a slow life there, enjoy these little things that I used to enjoy as a kid and not worry about life so much.